Hidden Village of Hearts

red_vlvtn @ 2008-06-13T15:21:00

2008-06-13T20:38:28Z

Haha, I'm so lazy with my LJ these days. Maybe since I'm now out of school I can start regularly updating again. Anywho, let's start with cancer, since that's always a fun subject.

A few days ago I went to my family doctor for what I thought was just a checkup, but then I had to take off my pants and I realized it was something else. See, I have this mole on my upper right thigh that's been there as long as I can remember. It's never been particularly interesting, just an occasional conversation piece at pool parties, until I was looking at it a while ago and I noticed that it didn't seem to be held on very well. Fearing I might inadvertently knock it off or something, I asked my mom to set up an appointment for the doctor to give it a look. Well she did, she just neglected to tell me, so I got to sit there in the exam room wearing a sheet and looking ridiculous.

The doctor looked at it and told me it probably wasn't cancer (WTF?), but that she'd been wrong before (again, WTF?) I decided to get it removed, so this will take place on the 26th, carefully planned around the release of [i]The Dark Knight[/i]. ^_^;;

Actually, the smallish road trip I'm taking with my parents is planned around it too. xD We're leaving at the end of July to visit three colleges (U. of Chicago, Cornell College, and Earlham College) and take a few stops along the way, like at a car show in Iowa... or was it Ohio? Whatever.

Well, went down to the mall today to see if I could get my old job back for the summer. They've got a new store manager now, but I gave him my name and number and he said he'd check with HR about the re-hire status. He seemed like he wanted to hire me, though.

The Brently Story

2007-12-01T07:26:56Z

I know, it's been months since I updated, but for some reason I just felt like it tonight. Because I'm angsting hard. However, since I haven't updated in forever and for all I know, there might be a few people who still have me on their f-lists, I think an explanation is in order...

A little over a month ago I met a guy at Barnes & Noble who fascinated me. I had been sitting on the windowsill next to the manga and comic books when he came over looking for a book and I happened to glance up, to find that he was looking at me too. He introduced himself as Brently, sat down next to me, and explained that his Japanese was better than his English, so he might have trouble remembering my name. Naturally, I was very much intrigued. Something about this guy made me feel very comfortable, and after a while, we left the bookstore with a couple of friends of his (I was with Brandon, who came with us) and just wandered the mall aimlessly. After Brandon went home, we eventually split away from his friends and continued wandering, talking about all kinds of things. I discovered that Brently is the kind of guy I always fantasized about, but never thought I would find: the kind who's insanely sweet, reads poetry, takes girls he just met into candle shops, and randomly tells you that you have a pretty smile. And I did I mention that he's a half-Japanese street racer with a tongue piercing?

For two or three days afterwards, I couldn't get him off my mind. I would pick up my cell phone, stare at his name in my contacts, then close it again. I kept doing it until Aeris and Fran finally convinced me to call him, and I finally managed to confess that I was thoroughly amazed by him. By the time I hung up, we were a couple.

Knowing I couldn't possibly live with myself if I cheated on Jordan, I managed to break up with him, my boyfriend of (then) almost a year. It was the single hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life, and once I'd done it, I went to my Advisory, sat down at my desk, and cried. I absolutely hated the knowledge that I had hurt him, even though he'd been there for me in all my darkest moments. I never doubted that he loved me, but I was so taken with Brently that I actually told myself things would be better this way.

That afternoon after school, I was on the phone with Brently in the car. I'd told my parents about him, but none of us actually knew how old he was. For some reason or another, this came up over the course of conversation, and I wound up a hostage in my mother's car as she drove around the neighborhood glaring at nothing in particular while I tried to coax an answer out of Brently. What he told me changed everything.

He was 24. I'm 16.

This was a wake-up call. Brently and I both knew my parents would never approve, and I also knew I'd made a huge mistake. The entire time my parents were explaining the various statutory rape laws, the only thought going through my mind was, "I need Jordan." I don't know how I did it, but I worked up the courage, and I called him, already sobbing. I didn't ask him to take me back because I knew I had no right to do so. All I asked was for him to hear me out as I explained my reasons, awful as they may have been, for leaving him. At first, he was furious, and understandably so. Fortunately, however, he also possesses some amazing qualities, because he gave me a second chance. I didn't deserve it, but he gave it to me.

A few weeks passed with no word from Brently. Jordan and I enjoyed our first anniversary at the Renaissance Festival, he turned 16, Hot Topic hired me, and things were beginning to look up. Then I went to work last week.

For reasons unexplained, I was sent home an hour before my shift ended. Considering it was Black Friday and I had been extremely shy about approaching customers (not to mention the handful of tags that were found on the floor in my zone), I took it to mean that things weren't going so well after all. I had arranged ahead of time for my dad to pick me up and Barnes & Noble after work, so I went down to the Apple Store to use it as an internet cafe. I only stayed long enough to check my email and a few things on Facebook, but when I left for the bookstore, I passed Brently. Already worried about my job security, as well as a fellow TIPster who may or may not have cancer, I was in no condition to run into him. I went to the windowsill where we met and sat down without a book, staring at nothing in particular. It wasn't long before he approached with a group of friends, saying "I thought I'd find you here." He asked his friends to leave us alone, squatted in front of me, and starting apologizing.

I couldn't hold it together anymore. I took off my hat and glasses, set them down next to me, and started crying. Brently obviously didn't know how to react, and soon gave up trying to get me to talk. He just held me for a minute, then went to get me a tissue. By the time he came back I had calmed down some, and we talked for a while. I don't even remember much of what was said except for "If I were younger, I'd do anything to be with you." Before I knew it, he was kissing me. And... even though I felt absolutely horrible afterwards, I'd never been kissed quite like that before. Maybe it's just because I've only kissed guys my own age, but he was the first to be that gentle. It was soft and warm, the way I used to imagine kissing should be, but of course we always want what we can't have. He said, "At least you'll always have that from me," gave me his number (which I'd thrown out a long time ago), and we parted ways.

I'm still carrying a tremendous amount of guilt about the whole thing. Hell, I'm crying as I type this. We haven't talked since that day, but I haven't deleted his number yet either. Honestly, though, the only reason is because I won't be able to get past this until I bring it to some kind of definitive conclusion. I'm notoriously bad at addressing difficult topics, though. I won't be able to do this alone. Jordan's coming over tomorrow to help me out with Pre-Cal, so I think it'll have to be done then. The fresh angst is due to me being left alone with my thoughts. I've been sitting here, wide awake even though I have a college interview in the morning, trying to come up with a way to do it. I've got nothing.

PhanFic Journal Entry 6

2007-08-08T21:32:22Z

Title: N/A
Length: Journal entry, 66 words
Assignment: Respond critically to Ryder's "The Race Track (Death Rides A Pale Horse)".

The overall mood of the painting is very bleak, created with a limited variety of color and a completely barren landscape. The only visible vegetation is a leafless tree and unless the smear at the bottom is a snake (Gerry: I think it is a snake. I need to get a better picture of it for next time.), it is the only semblance of life that is present. Indeed, everything here is skeletal in appearance, including the rider, which is very effective in suggesting death.

Gerry's notes: What does all the bleakness seem to imply about the human condition, do you think? What is death like in the 20th century or the 21st century?

PhanFic Journal Entry 5

2007-08-08T21:24:59Z

Title: The Scream
Length: Journal entry, 81 words
Assignment: Respond to Munch's painting either creatively or critically.

The sky was orange, and someone was screaming.
Someone, alone on the boardwalk, cried out and no one so much as turned to stare. People walked on, unconcerned with anyone or anything outside themselves. Someone was screaming, and nobody cared.
Someone cluthed their skull, screaming with an agony that no one knew. Someone was screaming, and nobody heard.
Someone collapsed on the board, convulsing, screaming, crying. Someone screamed a silent scream, someone cried invisible tears. Someone was screaming, and nobody knew.

Gerry's Notes
1st line: I love this line
4th paragraph: I also really like how the pain gets worse and worse as the piece goes on
The repetition of "someone" is really powerful, and it's the perfect word to be repeating for this--it implies that we know they're screaming but that we can't hlep them because we don't know who they are, but it also implies indifference, that maybe we wouldn't help them even if we could.
I really liked the way this was written. Great job.

PhanFic Short Essay 3

2007-08-08T21:17:24Z

Title: N/A
Length, Short essay, 82 words
Assignment: Describe/define a haunted house.

In order for a place to be considered haunted, there must be at least minimal evidence of ghost-related events taking place there. (Gerry: pretty low standard!) Quite often, this evidence is merely the accounts of several different people who claimed to have witnessed said events, and can be disproven scientifically. (Gerry: How do you disprove a claim of the supernatural?) On the other hand, occasionally something will occur that is not immediately proven false, and people find themselves fascinated by the these places in much the same way that many people are drawn to horror movies. (Gerry: with the added possibility that maybe it's not just a movie, but real)

PhanFic Journal Entry 4

2007-08-08T21:10:46Z

Title: N/A
Length: Journal entry, 98 words
Assignment:

Hume's theory is basically an articulate summary of thoughts I have often had myself. In considering "miraculous" events of many religions, I often wonder how anyone can honestly believe they took place. (Gerry: It sounds like you're a skeptic like Hume, all right.) For example, the only people to have ever risen from the grave were those who were mistakenly though to be dead when in fact, they were merely unconscious. (Gerry: Right--rising from the grave seems to have stopped with more accurate medicine.) It is interesting to note that once this was realized, there was a period in history in which graves of those who could afford it were equipped with a bell in the event that the "corpse" should awaken.

Gerry's notes: People are still very hung up on this question, as we talked about. We really don't handle an intermediate space between life and death well.

PhanFic Short Essay 2

2007-08-08T20:20:06Z

Title: N/A
Length: Short essay, 151 words
Assignment: Is it possible to believe in ghosts without believing in the soul?

It is exceedingly difficult to believe in ghosts, usually defined as lost souls, without believing in the soul. No doubt there are some who have figured out a way (Gerry: there are a few people out there who try), but I cannot think of any reason to believe that another part of a person's identity would carry on in such a way. However, it is much easier to reverse this and believe in the soul without belief in ghosts. No one can truly know what happens after death, so it is easy to disprove as many ghost stories as possible and argue that souls simply don't behave that way. A particular episode of The Simpsons comes to mind in which Millhouse tells Bart that souls can swim. (Gerry: I remember that one)
The mind is not something that anyone fully understands yet, but I feel that most people want so desperately to believe there is more involved than the brain is because of strong emotions.

Gerry's notes: Is there a principle of parsimony here? If we can explain why people believe a proposition without referring to reality, does that suggest the proposition is false?

PhanFic Journal Entry 2

2007-08-08T20:10:28Z

Title: N/A
Length: Journal entry, 78 words
Assignment: Write an "elevator pitch" for an updated movie version of A Christmas Carol.

I want to give meaning to A Christmas Carol again, you know? I mean, we all know the story, but we've heard it so many times it's just a cliche that no one pays attention to anymore. So I think it would really reach out to people a lot more if we sort of brought it into their world the way Dickens' audience experienced it. It's still in the works, but if you're interested, I'll keep you posted.

Gerry's notes: It sounds good to me. One of the things I was trying to get at as we talked about A Christmas Carol was the way in which it's just not a story take seriously anymore--not really. Maybe we can again?

PhanFic Short Essay

2007-08-08T20:03:49Z

Title: N/A
Length: Short essay, 86 words
Assignment: Why do people believe in ghosts?

Belief in ghosts is directly related to the viel of uncertainty that surrounds the "afterlife." We want strongly to believe if life after death because without it, we often cannot find meaning in our lives. (Gerry: Have you heard Nietzsche's theory about the death of God?) Perhaps those who believe most strongly in ghosts are also the ones with the greatest fear of having "unfinished business." Perhaps they are looking for an explanation for things not yet explained by science. Perhaps they have another reason altogether. How can I know when some of them don't know themselves? (Gerry: good point)

Gerry's notes: Since you "outed" yourself as an atheist in class today, this response makes me wonder about your relationship with the paranormal. Are you one of those people desperate for a way out of the life/death cycle? Or are you resigned to your fate?

red_vlvtn @ 2007-08-08T14:19:00

2007-08-08T19:55:07Z

So I've been home for what, a couple of weeks? And this is the first time I've updated? Amazing. Anywho, I wanted to share the stuff that I wrote in class (Phantom Fiction) with the old f-list because for once I feel like I actually did some good work. It'll be mostly journal entries, but I've also got a critical essay and a short story to post, so I'll put everything in separate posts. A lot of my journal entries just kind of cut off because I ran out of time, so please keep that in mind. I'll also include some of my instructor's notes because to put it simply, Gerry is AMAZING.

Title: N/A
Length: Journal entry, 63 words
Assignment: If you were a person living in the Victorian era, would you want to visit the 21st century?

Envisioning the world two centuries into the future is a nearly impossible for almost anyone today, myself included. There is absolutely no sure way to predict events that may shape society, or what affects they may have. For this reson, I have come to bemoan the idea of what could lie ahead. should industrialization contine, will oppression of factory workers continue as well?

Gerry's notes: I noticed you seemed to have trouble getting started on this entry, but what you came up with was very good--rather than imagining the Victorian as some type of time treker, you imagined them as a futurist. I wonder what your Victorian would have come up with?

red_vlvtn @ 2007-07-23T14:35:00

2007-07-23T18:46:24Z

Woot, I'm on break in a computer cluster on campus at TIP. My class is absolutely amazing, I have fanboys, and Bassett won Quadfest again. For the most part, things are going great.

Except for Jeff.

I met Jeff on Wear A Skirt Wednesday when he was dressed as a Playboy bunny. I mean, I wear cat ears every day, I had to pose for a picture with him. We got to talking and he seemed pretty cool, so we started to hang out fairly often.

Then the dance happened.

Aeris and I were doing our usual thing, dancing by ourselves on the edge of crowd, when Jeff came over. The three of us danced together for a while until "Hey There Delilah" came on. I don't even like that song. Anyway, we were doing this whole awkward triangle thing where we all kind of stand around and make fun of the song. Then Jeff grabs me and before I know it, we're slow dancing. Really close together. Aeris wandered off to the side of the quad awkwardly, and I, having nothing else to look at, stared into Jeff's eyes.

Big mistake.

Next thing I know, he's kissing me. Very hairily, might I add. The song ends, we part, and Aeris comes back. We all start dancing again, but after a while, I can't take it anymore and I ask Aeris if we can go inside for a bit. We do and I slump down on a couch and cry. After a little bit I'm able to tell her what's wrong, but soon after, Ed comes in with Jeff. Great. They sit down next to us and Ed tries to comfort me while Jeff sits awkwardly. After he goes away, Aeris helps me to explain the problem, and in the meantime a few other people come by and try to help as well (I love TIPsters). I didn't even do the Yatta, I was so freaked out.

So I spend the night angsting and seriously considering leaving TIP. For the first time ever. The next morning I go crazy waiting for cell phone hours to start so I can call Jordan and tell him what happened. He takes it extremely well and that half of the problem is solved.

But I still don't know what to tell Jeff.

red_vlvtn @ 2007-06-28T20:33:00

2007-06-29T01:44:53Z

So... not long ago, I started on a new ADD medication called Daytrana that comes in patch form and is supposed to have less side effects than Adderall. As many of you know, I was thrilled to be off Adderall once school got out. I was sleeping normally and eating everything in sight and it felt wonderful. I've been keeping it up as best I can, but lately I'm getting less and less sleep, and the past couple of days I've stared at my dinner and thought, "I need to eat this food... I don't really want to, but I need to..." I force myself to eat it, but it's hard. I mean, the antidepressant they started me on the other day had some sort of reaction yesterday with something in my stomach and made me feel nausious to the point of barely touching my breakfast. I ate a moderate lunch that day, but you'd think that by dinnertime I would have been starving... Not so. Maybe I'm having some kind of relapse? Maybe my stomach is finally catching up to me? I don't know. I just hope I put on some weight this summer because being this bony is uncomfortable.

Jordan's leaving for Mexico on Sunday and the day he gets back is the day I leave for TIP. If bad planning were an Olympic event, we'd win the gold, especially since he has family staying until Sunday and tomorrow is the 8-month mark for us. Not as milestoney as 6 months, but it does make this my longest relationship to date. I'm not gonna lie, I'm proud of us.

10 days until TIP.

red_vlvtn @ 2007-06-22T23:34:00

2007-06-23T05:14:04Z

It's annoying having to use Netscape, but Safari was being ridiculously slow, and in my impatience I managed to phuck up OkCupid by refreshing at the wrong time. :( Oh well.

Your Score: Outcast Genius

69 % Nerd, 56% Geek, 56% Dork

For The Record:

A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.

A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.

A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.

You scored better than half in all three, earning you the title of: Outcast Genius.

Outcast geniuses usually are bright enough to understand what society
wants of them, and they just don't care! They are highly intelligent
and passionate about the things they know are *truly* important in the
world. Typically, this does not include sports, cars or make-up, but it
can on occassion (and if it does then they know more than all of their
friends combined in that subject).

Outcast geniuses can be very lonely, due to their being
outcast from most normal groups and too smart for the room among many
other types of dorks and geeks, but they can also be the types to
eventually rule the world, ala Bill Gates, the prototypical Outcast
Genius.

THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST

Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Your Score: Queen of Hearts

You scored 37 Kindness, 44 Morality, and 57 Wisdom!

You spend your upbringing going to the finest schools, being educated
in the running of Wonderland as a strong ruler. Your parents dished out
thousands of dollars for college and you always got excellent grades.
But instead you only want to play croquet? All the time? Well, although
it's odd, at least you know what you like. Fortunately you are very
intelligent and have a solid base of morals on your shoulders. Even so,
your lack of kindness leaves you playing alone often. Look for a man
with a nice head of flames and a lot of time on his hands, like Hades,
for a good match.

Link: The Which Disney Character Are You Test written by dakotaguy on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

red_vlvtn @ 2007-06-21T20:12:00

2007-06-22T01:33:18Z

I just finished watching the 1966 version of Alice in Wonderland, and I have to say that, although I know the Disney version, as usual with Disney's movies adapted from books, is a gross misrepresentation of the original story, I definitely prefer it over this one. It was much more artsy, which could have been interesting if used effectively, but had the general impact of making the whole movie seem pretentious. According to online sources, the replacement of all animal roles with humans was supposed to be an attempt at showing the people these characters were intended to represent. Now, despite my general feeling that most people have no business trying to re-interpret classic literature, I'd like to point out that the Eaglet and the Lory were both played by men even though they are widely accepted as animal versions of Alice Liddell's two sisters, Edith and Lorina.

That, however, is a minor point when one considers the almost total re-construction of Wonderland as we know it. For example, one never has time to sit and stare into space at the Mad Hatter's. The inclusion of the Duchess does earn this version some points that Disney lost, but it's many other deviations from Lewis Carroll's classic story more than negate this. The human Mock Turtle present in this movie almost completely misses the point of this often-forgotten character: a compilation of usually unwanted pieces of animals that forms a creature which is not a true anything, and is therefore unwanted himself.

But what bothers me the most about this movie is not it's complete destruction of a classic tale, but Alice's lack of personality. I, as well as most others, percieved Alice to be a young girl full of curiosity and wonder, not a mobile statue whose facial expression never changes. This is not surprising however, when one considers that the actress was 13 when the film was made and never acted before or since. </badly>

red_vlvtn @ 2007-06-20T21:28:00

2007-06-21T02:37:56Z

So... Things are going well at work. Eddie, my new supervisor, was very impressed by how quickly I did inventory on the first floor, including doing data entry for him. When my mom emailed him the Excel worksheet I did it on, he included an offering of a mango juice smoothie in his reply. On the hand, I think I committed a triple-sin when I went to the Exxon-Mobile building for lunch and watched Bush give a speech on Fox News on their giant TV. I need to wash the sin away. T_T

Impending Doom is coming at 2 o'clock on Saturday, but it's been going surprisingly well so far, so maybe My Stupid and I will survive after all. ^_^

Also, trying to get a group together for Projekt Revolution, starting with Alicia. I'm incredibly excited.

18 days until TIP

Lawl.

2007-06-19T00:18:29Z

Turns out My Stupid broke his computer, quite literally. It's a laptop, and it fell off his lap, breaking the screen. You may all disregard the last part of my previous post.

But he could still call more often. ;-P

In other news, I was accused of trying to sneak out last night. Apparently when my dad got up this morning the door was unlocked and his car alarm was going off. On the way home from work my mom asked about it and recieved a series of nonchalant "nope"s in response. Also, one "not as far as I know" when she asked if anyone had been trying to come see me. Yeah right.

Also, finished transcribing the phone messages from the CLIENT FROM HELL (CFH), but I don't think anyone outside of the office really cares. I'm just really glad it's done.

In MORE other news, I reeeeeally want to go to Projekt Revolution. I'm probably the only one who was sold when they saw Madina Lake was coming, but I looove that band. Thankfully, I get two paychecks between now and then, so I should be able to pay for tickets. I just hope someone I know is going. Probably.

red_vlvtn @ 2007-06-17T03:05:00

2007-06-17T08:21:40Z

Fuck. This. Shit.

This summer sucks. I hate my parents for it. They're the reason I'm constantly working, never allowed to relax for a second. I always have to be doing something productive, and they fail to see how that exhausts me. I can't be a workaholic like my mom, and maybe if she'd pay a little attention sometime she'd see that. My dad is awesome, as always, but there's not much he can do. At least he does stuff with me, though. Took me to dinner, the bookstore, and movie today, as a matter of fact. He rewards my efforts. What do I get from Mom? "Oh good, now you can do something else for me." Everything is about how I can make her life easier. Because apparently mine isn't important.

Not to mention, this is completely counterproductive to my main goal for this summer: learn to be social. Chaining me to the house and the office kind of makes it hard to have friends, especially when you only had two to begin with. Not to mention, one of them is just as socially awkward as you and has six other people living in her house, which tends to make things difficult.

And I'm not going to lie, I'm kind of frustrated with My Stupid. I've barely heard from him the past few weeks, when I've needed a friend so badly. I've always been able to count on him in the past to be there for me when I needed him, so where he is he now? He's rarely online anymore and never picks up the damn phone. I miss those hours-long conversations we used to have when he would call me randomly and we'd just talk about nothing and everything at the same time. I mean, yes, I could call him technically, but my parents are doing a good job of keeping me busy, though they're not to the point of banning me from accepting phone calls.

And yes, love, if you're reading this, is a HUGE HINT. In fact, I have Toes in my lap right now. I've come to think of him as a little part of you that I can cuddle whenever I can't have the real thing... but it's not quite the same. I miss you. A lot. Hell, we bought my dad a new Risk game for Father's Day, if you can get out, come play with us. We'd be happy to have you, and I promise, no one will hurt you.

Just talk to me, okay?

red_vlvtn @ 2007-06-13T19:22:00

2007-06-14T00:24:03Z

I got more mail from Simon's Rock today. You know, that college in Massachusettes designed for kids about 16 or 17 years old. It's just a stack of brochure things, but the very first one, written by a senior, made me think some more. Two little sentences at the end of the first paragraph really jumped out at me: "You're visible. You matter."

Jesus Christ... Is there really a college out there that thinks they can fill these psychological gaps that I've had all my life? Can they really make me feel like I matter to someone who's not either dating me or related to me (not that their opinions don't count, mind you)? I don't know. But it would be interesting to find out.

That's not to say I'm ready to leave home just yet. The idea of going to college still makes me shake a little, and although I'm mostly isolated and lonely here, I do have a few people who are extremely important to me and whom I don't feel like I can leave just yet. I'll let this roll around in my brain until it comes time for next year's applications.

red_vlvtn @ 2007-06-12T15:42:00

2007-06-12T20:45:33Z

TAKE MY JOB, PLEASE!! Seriously, who needs one? I mean sure, you won't get paid even though you do more work than most of the hired employees, and yes you'll spend hours highlighting things because your boss did something stupid, but at least you'll have a job! Maybe your parents will stop complaining about you being lazy. And I can find something more interesting that pays.

P.S. DIE IN A FIRE, CLIENT FROM HELL!!!

red_vlvtn @ 2007-06-07T08:23:00

2007-06-07T13:38:00Z

60% GeekMingle² - Free Online Dating

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Also, leaving for Oklahoma soon, won't be back until late on Sunday, so I'll probably be unavailable until Monday. My cell phone has been taken and I may or may not get it back.

red_vlvtn @ 2007-05-28T11:19:00

2007-05-28T16:24:46Z

Taken from kitty_cracknip

The You-Are-What-You-Read Meme!
If you were magically transformed into the subject of whatever fanfic you read or write, what would you become? The more detailed the reply, the better. Bonus points to whoever replies to your comment naming the fandom(s) and character(s) mentioned!
x2 if you can guess which one is true.

I would... poof out of existance. Or possibly become a suicidal teenager who can't stay away from shiny things or find any healthy relationships and a dangerous girl with a homicidal brother who manages to fall in love with people she's never met.

red_vlvtn @ 2007-05-27T13:51:00

2007-05-27T18:54:45Z

I've had enough of being lonely and pathetic. This summer I'm going to reinvent myself socially. I'm going to become Brandon's best friend ever and work up so much bravery at TIP (the only place I have it) that it spills over into the school year. I will pick out the quietest kid in every class I have and make that person my goal. They will talk to me. I'm not going to be like this anymore.

red_vlvtn @ 2007-05-26T21:58:00

2007-05-27T03:05:28Z

I can sum up the major events of the last two days in very few sentence. The choir banquet had all my favorite things: religion, politics, and salad.</sarcasm> I'm starting to think there may be a good reason I don't fit in well with other choir members. The same group of like five people won everything. No surprises.

As for Spamalot... Lancelot is gay. My life is now complete.

Oh, and not that it matters, but I had Count Chocula for breakfast this morning. We never have kiddie cereal at my house and the idea of that particular one makes me laugh, so we bought it. At 11 o'clock at Wal-Mart. Mostly I hate Wal-Mart (as if child labor wasn't a good enough reason, their service sucks... I mean, if they payed their employees better, maybe they wouldn't have to worry about them stealing stuff and treating the customers like shit. *climbs down from soap box*)

red_vlvtn @ 2007-05-25T13:58:00

2007-05-25T19:05:52Z

I am so insanely pissed at the school right now. Not only do they not allow students who exempt their finals to miss school on the day of said finals; not only do I hate the organization of the TAKS test; not only are they bitches about my 504; not only does our principal have a grudge against the Japanese department in its entirety; not only that, but because of their stupidity, 10-12 students, including myself, were forced to wait outside the school an hour and a half after we were released from class for our bus to arrive. The driver came on time and by some strange event, about half of the students who normally ride made it home at the regular time, but the teachers in charge of writing the numbers of the buses that had arrived on the overhead neglected their duty and did not add my bus number to the list. Therefore, those of us who--*gasp*--follow directions were forced to miss the bus because of lazy teachers. The driver was told to leave the school at a certain time, and by doing as she was instructed, she unknowingly left the rest of us stranded. I didn't get home until 1:30. School let out at 11:45.

red_vlvtn @ 2007-05-24T13:52:00

2007-05-25T18:57:13Z

This was the most fun I've had doing a project in years. A couple of friends and I parodied "I am the Walrus" by the Beatles and Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card to produce this music video.

I've found four other videos on YouTube from this year's batch of sophomores doing the same project. It's a shame there weren't more, because many were shown in class that I loved, but here's a list of those I found.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACg43-Oh9VY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PfMQyGY_Vo
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ET42mx7H730
http://youtube.com/watch?v=6cx5NgkSuWc