PhanFic Journal Entry 5

Title: The Scream
Length: Journal entry, 81 words
Assignment: Respond to Munch's painting either creatively or critically.

The sky was orange, and someone was screaming.
Someone, alone on the boardwalk, cried out and no one so much as turned to stare. People walked on, unconcerned with anyone or anything outside themselves. Someone was screaming, and nobody cared.
Someone cluthed their skull, screaming with an agony that no one knew. Someone was screaming, and nobody heard.
Someone collapsed on the board, convulsing, screaming, crying. Someone screamed a silent scream, someone cried invisible tears. Someone was screaming, and nobody knew.

Gerry's Notes
1st line: I love this line
4th paragraph: I also really like how the pain gets worse and worse as the piece goes on
The repetition of "someone" is really powerful, and it's the perfect word to be repeating for this--it implies that we know they're screaming but that we can't hlep them because we don't know who they are, but it also implies indifference, that maybe we wouldn't help them even if we could.
I really liked the way this was written. Great job.